This is a timed post.. Now I am probably actually on my way to run errands etc.:) Hopefully you'll have a great day! I'm sure I will, but it'll be a busy one.
I thought to add here a bunch of photos of myself. First I thought to make it alot of posts here with photos but as I realized that after my laptop crashed I had lost alot of photos before 2007, then it seemed like I might make it just one long post with tons of photos.

ps! The baby on the first photo is not mine, hehe.:p
pps! The photos are in random order!

Now I will finish with my new header for the blog and then will go to sleep. Lots to do tomorrow.:)

Godnatt!

Like I wrote on one of my previous posts, I got some unexpected news. First I got a really good news and then the unexpected one. So, what were the news about?
Firstly - I got a new job!!!! The one I was really hoping to get, but tried not to get too excited about it just in case. But yes, it's great news and right when I got the call with the positive news, I called my mom and made her day happy (happier) too!:) I love to make people happy, even if it should be the littlest of things.
This job will give me a whole lot of responsibility that I love to have, it's versatile, your working days would never be exactly the same, gives me the opportunity to be in Stockholm fairly often and also the schedule would be 2 weeks work, 2 off - vacation every month! hehe.. nah, I meant that it means I can everything else that I like-want to do aside that job. How great is that!!:)

But the other thing.. I got to know that I need to move out of my rental asap. So, as I got that news on Thursday, it was about to take action fast fast fast. Which I did.. the same evening I had already found an apartment I liked online .. the next day made a call to the real-estate agent, set up a meeting the same evening at 7pm, sent him an email after thinking about it a bit later, today made another appointment to sign the contract on Monday!! Things really can change so fast in ones life, it seems ridiculous. So even if I now will be a ton of money "poorer", it is so worth it!

So this month is about home decorations and furnishing and also a bit of travelling and many, many meetings with my lovely friends. This time in my new home and also in Stockholm, where I will be atleast once this month, probably twice.:) I am so happy!

So.. now I am finally back in business with blogging! I also decided today that I will change the design of the blog and make a header. It's my first one I've ever done, but it's ok .. I'm happy with it, eventhough I'll change a photo or two in it soon.:) I want(ed) to choose photos that represent a part of what this blog is about and what I like/am about. So .. in general - a part outfits, a part parties, a part cooking, a part personal.
But now I'll continue with the 30-dagarslistan. Though thistime the topic is not something I want to write about..

Got some unexpected news just less than 2hrs ago. So now it's just to deal with it...
I'll be back when it's done and over with.

Actually .. this made me think that maybe it's a sign that it's time.....

For the first time in my 23 years of age I can say that I am too old.:D
I found an ad for a really interesting project in Bulgaria end of this month, but .. you'd have to be between 17-22 years of age. Hihi, 6 months too late.;)

This blog has gotten a very personal and somewhat sad-negative start. But do not let that 'fool' you.. I am actually a positive thinking person and atleast most of the time really do feel happy.

Today I have been spending time with my niece and therefore I am really tired now. Have just landed in bed so that means goodnight!:)
Until tomorrow!

The time was 02.00.. Tears started to slide down my face. More and more of them came. I was crying more and more. My heart started pounding, my head started to hurt, I started to shiver, got dizzy and got really cold. I was hyperventilating and couldn't catch a breath.. I got scared - this hadn't happened in a long time now?! Why now?
I desperately tried to start breathing deeply and get some tempo so it would calm me down. But I just couldn't concentrate which made my fear even worse.. I was in total panic and didn't succeed with breathing calm and deep.
..it lasted for about 25 minutes. The slowest 25 minutes I have had in a long time.
The fear of losing all controll you have is just.. a nightmare.
Somewhat weird that it triggered today.. right after I had written a bit about it in my previous post. And then this.

Actually I just had anotherone.. a bit shorter one. I will be honest and say that I am scared.
In some sense I am happy that noone was here when it happened because I can imagine it can be a very helpless feeling when someone is going through it and you cant do anything..

But I love how I have people in my life to whom I have talked about this and really are there for me..
I will copy now some supernice words my friends just told me..

*Jag håller tummarna stenhårt för att du ska få ordning på ditt liv och börja må bra. Du är så väl värd det!

*Mmm.. och du klarade dig igenom det..

*Hade jag varit där hade jag peppat dig och stöttat dig än mer :)

*Du är en superbra person.. och jag gillar verkligen dig.. och önskar dig ALL lycka och allt bra! :)

*Mmm.. du kommer klara detta!! :)

*Det är jag helt övertygad om!

*Du är en stark person! Men kanske också det som gör att du lyckats "bunkra in" känslorna och kört på.. och fokuserat så hårt på annat

*Men jag _vet_ du kommer att klara detta, att du kommer att komma må mkt bättre och ta dig vidare i ditt liv :) Du är en stark och bra tjej!
Därav som jag har känt mig så dragen till dig..

*Det kommer det göra :) lite gupp efter vägen, men jag vet du kommer ta dig hela vägen fram. Och jag kommer finnas här och stötta dig.. så länge som jag andas.. oavsett vad som händer..

*Så länge som du vill ha mig här :)

*Men jag vill du ska veta det.. att du betyder mycket för mig.. och att jag alltid finns här för dig..

*Och att du vet det i såna här tider när du har det jobbigt också..

..hopefully I can help someone from my experience some day if it should be needed..
Now I really need to sleep. Tomorrow will be a good day!!!